I found this site ages ago but never really put into action any of the things the guys talks about – which are really common sense when you look at the grand scheme of things.
Judging by current state of mind I really need to lead a stress free life – but being stress free is not something I can do so easily, so wonder what this site will hold for me =)
~x~
Ok so this post has been a long time in the making, I wasnt really sure I wanted to talk about it but my blog is my tool to vent so thought what the hell.
My last post (proper one that is) was al cryptic, those who follow me on twitter know what its all about.
I have been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression =/ meh sucks to be me right now. I hate not being in control of my thoughts, feeling and general mental health.
They dont know what causes PND only that it is becoming more common as the years go on – usually you get what they like to call the Baby Blues within the first few weeks after giving birth, but I never really cried when Jack was born, I think mainly due to the shock of him being a month early and getting a c-section etc.
So yeah I am now a number in the grand scheme of people with depression =/ I am having good days and bad – the bad now greatly outnumbering the good. But I have just got my first round of medication today and it can take up to 4/6 weeks for them to kick in and I can be on them for as much as 1 year, depending on how I react to them.
They help lift my mood, and control the anxiety.
Im no fun to be around right now and dont even feel like blogging etc but having to force myself to in order to help me battle this.
So its out in the open now. Taking each day as it comes and will see how I fair on the pills.
~x~
I have just noticed that all my pics in posts are missing as well! need to sort that out tomorrow, in the middle of getting ready to head out tonight.Letting my hair dry a little before blasting it with the hairdryer.
Im not sure if anything else went missing in the server transfer or not will have to hunt tomorrow to see. All my posts are there so thats the main thing =)
And registration emails should be working or so im told from the all knowing Lee hehe.
~x~
I lost all my links and users who had registerd – please feel free to regisiter again =) Our email system isnt working so you wont get an email when you do, but will get it sorted!
There will prob be a few private posts comeing up sometime – yet to decide.
We have moved servers and I bet you didnt even notice =P
Means I can now get nifty plugins to work *yay*
So I went back to work on Monday – It was great to be back, but at the same time not. I felt like I had abandonded Jack being gone all day =(
I am only working 3 days a week for the next month so its not too bad, but part of me is begining to wonder if I have went back too soon, even though I have been off for almost 8 month.
I have an appointment with the Dr on friday morning as I am just not feeling 100% – mentally, emotionally and physically. Its taken me a while to pluck up the courage to go see a Dr so will see what she has to say and will post a better post once I see whats going on with me.
Feeling out of sorts and having just exlpode the other night hit home that its time for me to do someting about it. After a few harsh words from Lee that I needed to hear.
Cryptic I know but bear with me.
~x~
*this is my Blog Buddies Valentines contest entry *
I have had good, bad and non-existant Valentines Day’s over the years, but I am going to pick my very first Valenties with Lee.
This being my first Valentines in about 3 or 4 years and also our first one, I managed to get away from work a wee bit early so I could get home and tidy up and pamper myself and make myself gorgeous for him coming home. I even curled my hair! Something I have never done in the past, I just wanted it to be a special night. Lee arrived at my place about 8pm armed with a huge box of red roses. I have never had red roses – ever let alone onValentines Day – so that was a great surprise and he seemed quite chuffed at that fact =)
He was also armed with a bottle of wine and bag full of food, and Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream. We cracked open the wine whilst he got underway cooking dinner from scratch, apparently he had searched for the perfect recipe for that night – we had Chicken and Pea Risotto – it was absolutly amazing, so good in fact that we make it regularly now =)
We decided we didnt want to go out so we just enjoyed out lovely dinner and wine and then snuggled up on the couch watching movies. This may not be romatic to some people but to be honest I much prefer to stay at home and have a nice intimate dinner than go out to a resturant and have to share my night with lots of other couples – plus pay way more because its valentines =)
~x~
Urgh I am sooooo shattered!
The past week has been a nightmare for Jack not sleeping – its taken me almost 4 hours a night to get him down to sleep – usualy about midnight.
Yesterday we discovered why…
His first tooth is coming through on the bottom =) it just was a sharp wee lump yesterday but today you can see the whole tip of it cutting through the gums. Poor wee mite he is so grumpy as its so sore, armed myself with baby bonjela teething gel and a bottle of calpol as well to take the edge off it – you can give the gel every 3 hrs but the calpol only once so going to him that before bedtime.
His feeding is all to pot as his gums are sore when he sucks the bottle – but he has strarted on more lumpier foods and loves the crust off my toast in the mornings – guess he loves it as it take the pressure off the gums when he chews.
Just as I am getting metally prepared to go back to work in a few weeks he goes and starts properly teething!
SO when he is napping I have been a total book worm – have gone through the the first 3 books of the Twilight Series – yeah I know shoch horror! But I am a convert and a 100% on Team Edward – hello anyone who knows me would know I would die to be a Vampire lol Think I actually said that to my mum when I was little saying I wanted to be a Vampire when grow up.
Anyhoo its Jacks bathtime so better head off and get him sorted.
~x~
Woo first post of 2010!
Not sure what this year will bring, I go back to work on the 25th so I know I am not looking forward to that =( Jack will has his first birthday and anything else is well unknown as of yet lol.
I dont believe in New Years Resolutions – I am yet to keep one that I have made every year – I usually fail by the end of the first week in January or forget as the year goes on what I was supposed to be doing!
I am following in my friend Lisa’s footsteps and making aims not resolutions.
Aims for 2010:
Thats kinda all I can think of that are reasonable to achieve this year. Not that bad and think I cam pretty much manage then all apart from the weight one lol
Off to my mums today for dinner – hopeing she might take the wee man tonight =) as I really need a decent sleep – its been about midnight before he is going down now… cant force a baby to sleep and cant stop him from taking a nap during the day either – its a no win situation right now urgh!
Love all!
~x~
I cant beleive its Hogmanay (New Years Eve) =)
Another year been and gone and what a year I have had!
January
Saw me falling down the stairs and breaking my ankle – well badly sprain apparnetly but the pain I was in I should have broken it! I was 19wks pregnant at the time so was bit concerned about the bump but all was fine.
Got called in for an early scan due to my blood test for downs and spina bifida coming back sqiffy. Got the scan done and all was clear – huge sigh of relief!
Februrary
Saw me go down to 4 day weeks at work and having alot of baby movment =) Celebrated Lee’s birthday and also valentines
March
We finally finished decorating the nursey and buit the furniture. Also we found out we were having a boy =)
April
My cat murphy died =( was still enjoying my pregnancy over the half way mark now and developing braxton hicks!
May
No much happend in May until the end =) Jack decided to make his appearence in the world a whole month early. To say we were both shocked was a bit of an understament! I had to get a cection so was in hospital for 3 days.
June
Got home from hospital with Jack and got into the throws of mother hood – hard considring I wasnt to do much for 6 weeks until my scar healed and I got over just having major surgery.
July
I kinda went awol from blogging discoverd how much time a baby takes up, Lee got Swine Flu so I had to move me and Jack to my mums for about 2 weeks to make sure he was ok before we came home.
August
Took a holiday with Lee and his mum to the borders and I fall in the bathroom and break my wrist – not a fun time!
September
Had to stay with mum for a few weeks due to wearing a cast, celebrated our anniversay, my birthday and our engagement anniversay this month as well.
October
not much happend – Jack coming on leaps and bounds
November
Jack turns 6 months enjoy watching him come into his own personality and looking forward to Xmas
December
Jacks first christmas =) he was go in awe at what was going on and got lots of toys. Went to Lee’s mum’s for a second Xmas and got lots more presents. Jack turns 7 months
Wow its been some year – I never imagined it would be mostly taken up by baby stuff and me breaking bones lol. It has been the best year of my life so far – becoming a mother and being a mother is still something that I am in shock and admiration about. I never imagined what it would be like and even now i still cant explain.
Jack is the world to me and I feel complete with him and Lee =) now all we need to do is get married lol
~x~
